Trying Relationships

Written by Ed Harris. Posted in Teachings.

I know you have heard this famous quote from William Edward Hickson. I want to challenge us to take a good look at it and apply what I believe is the fabric and essence of the quote to our relationships.

Tis a lesson you should heed:
Try, try, try again.
If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try, try again.

Your relationship with your spouse, your children, your business, employee or employer is at the center of your success, or lack thereof.  You know that it seriously takes work to function with others. It is a lot easier to hide from conflict, behaviors, situations and scenarios, but you know as ‘easy’ as that might be it doesn’t pay off.  

What happens when you forbear or don’t build relationships by embracing the conflict? Learning to work through the relational “icky and uckie,” is your opportunity for big gains with your spouse and your loved ones. As the old adage says, “no pain no gain.” So you have to ask the question, “Are you avoiding the conflict for temporary false pleasure, knowing that your return on investment is a “right now no conflict zone?”

You are not helping yourself. This is what most of us do; we decide to act like we are ignoring the bad and we bank it for another day. Well, in good banking terms, the result of this is compounding. Like compound interest in a bank account, we allow the bad feelings and situations to build up until one day… some day.  Unfortunately, this type of behavior has caused many divorces and broken relationships with children, business partnerships, as well as many other relationships.

Relationships take work. They take commitment. They should be managed as the MOST important part of our lives not like the least important part. This famous quote has a very powerful undertone of commitment that it takes to win in the world of relationships.  However, the “try and try” has become a bit deceptive because in our society people use that word “try” as an excuse to not hit the mark.

The word “try” in this quote implies continued persistent action that will cause someone to eventually succeed in their endeavors.

Try - definition: “To make an attempt or and effort at doing something.”

This is the basic definition of the word try but the quote…

Tis a lesson you should heed:
Try, try, try again.
If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try, try again.

The author uses the word “try” six times. How hard do you try when it comes to your spouse? How hard are you working at those other relationships?  Are you blindly focused on a predetermined end of sure destruction, just to avoid being blamed as the culprit in your situations? Or are you working through the good and the bad with the try, try, try attitude that will produce an unbreakable foundation that will be able to stand the test of adversity?  Build your relationships on the true rock, the way the Messiah describes in Matthew.

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash (Matthew 7:24-27 NIV).

So be persistent!

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened (Matthew 7:7-8 NIV).

Messiah is teaching us a powerful lesson about focused persistence, as well as a promise. He is stating that if we want to have righteousness we will seek it with persistence and we will try, try, try.

He is also sharing that this love and commitment is the essence of the entire scriptures.  Love, relationship, and the two greatest commands are at the center of this powerful teaching in Matthew. Where are these things ranking in your life right now? 

There could be many things that are stopping you from going from relationship average to relationship fantastic!  Ask yourself the following questions?

  • Are my efforts all that they can be? (You fill in the blank with whomever you choose).
  • Can you make this statement: “I am working as hard as I can every day to improve my relationships on every level?”
  • Do I work as hard with my “problem people” as I do with the folks that I get along with? 

We all (myself at the top of this list) have so much that we can improve upon. That is why I love this quote so much.  It is a quote of persistence and a quote that has championship pedigree attached to it.

The top athletes and business professionals live by this type of quote; they are always working, always pushing, always tweaking, and always “trying” new and innovative things.   You should be too!  If you are not, why not? You are a champion! You are an overcomer, you are a winner in Messiah!  Why are you not being more persistent in your relationships? Why are you not looking to win and to do some more amazing things with those that you are sharing your life?

Some final thoughts:

  • Get Regular Tune-Ups: Spend some serious time making sure that you are being as honest and open with those that are in your life as possible. This will help you with the “compound banking” (allowing situations to pile up and become unmanageable).

  • Forgive: We have not touched on this one during this article but this will be the main topic of next months article of the month. When you truly have a forgiving heart it causes healing in relationships, which is good for everyone.

Be encouraged and stay steady! 

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